Where were you 10 years ago?

It's 2026 and hubby and I had big plans for this year. Plans to start ministries and plans to move forward in our life with family and making new friends. We are now in a position where we could focus on other things that now requires more of our attention: our commitment to church, our parents, and helping the kids get through college. Except all these came in quick and with a challenge.

​In the beginning of the year, our family participate in a 21 day prayer where we each choose something to fast on and hope that we can make it through the 21 days without breaking our fast. The hope is that our prayers or whatever we told God about is answered. 

I fasted on carbs: specifically rice and white bread. I've done coffee, chocolate, and sweets before, too, so I added that even more. So for 21 days, for 12-16 hours after 6pm until about 10-11 in the morning, my fast started. I won't mention what my fast is for just yet. I do want to tell you that if you do decide to fast one day for 21 days, be specific with your intentions and your prayer. Make sure that what you are fasting on is something that is safe and you understand the purpose of the fast. A few people I know had fasted off social media (doable), some on candy alone, while others kept themselves from over spending within a budget (be that be $20/week or even $100/day). 

The fasting part was fine. Although I did wish that I had lost some weight at the same time. HAHAHA! That wasn't the purpose of the fast though. I wanted some clarity on something and it appears I received that clarity. The question back was, "So what are you going to do about it?" Well, it was hard to do anything when your prayer has been answered, but you are thousands of miles away. In fact, we were on the other side of the country, freezing and stuck in snow. 

Hubby and I had travelled to Washington D.C. to volunteer at the Washington D.C. Auto Show. The theme was Star Wars of course with the Theresa Sondra Jacobs Foundation. Ermer brought a few of his droids and we got to see the Eco Crest that Mark and his family finished together. I am so happy for them, because it came out so well. 

It was one of my favorite parts of the show. The other was the Back to the Future DeLorian featured in the corner of the show. It was really neat meeting all these creators. We got to talk to people and tell them about the foundation and also how most of the displays they were seeing were handmade products either from scraps, 3d printed, or resin, etc. At the end of the day, we would call the kids back in San Diego to follow up and see how their day was going. Especially how the night went at their Youth Friday get together.

​So while we are away on trips, whether it's vacation, business, or for ministry, we like to make sure the kids are being responsible, respectful, and present for each other. They each know what they need to do and so hubby and I are blessed to know that we can trust them to be there for each other. Especially for our own parents while we are away.

So on this particular Friday, an incident had happened. There apparently was a quarrel between an 'invited' guest and one of the adult youth leaders. Unfortunately, their interaction didn't end well. When we heard this, hubby and I knew that we would need to sit down and listen to the situation and help deescalate the situation. We were not going to be home for another week or so. And guess what? Just within a week, one thing happened after another. All of a sudden, one of my kids say that the adult youth leader that was having the situation started to have issues with both the primary leading adult youth leader and my daughter. Apparently, there was some miscommunication when it came to delegating some responsibilities. We listened carefully from a couple of people of what had and is happening. It seems that this adult youth leader who was bringing up concerns had already spoken to the senior pastor and his wife. The solution was to 'take away' the leadership hierarchy positions so that everyone is equal AND the lessons are now going to be controlled. It was such a mess - hubby and I realized that the leaders we had put in place were having a 'power trip,' miscommunication, as well as a lack of respect and responsibility for each other. What are we to do?

The plan of action was to come back and help resolve the issue. Accept the following week after, our daughter was at the receiving end of the fire. She now became a part of the situation. So, this adult youth leader went from their own personal dilemma, attacking the youth leadership ministry, and moved towards a young adult youth leader. What the heck is going on?

By the time Hubby and I got back, we were in a rush to set up a day to sit with all parties involved. I was so upset that we could not get to everyone sooner. These are both friends, leaders, and valued people that we care about. Then, the unexpected happened. My auntie Remy dies. 

It was a Wednesday evening. Hubby and I were running errands and trying to finish up a few things at church. We had just came back from our Washington Trip and the first thing we wanted to do was get things situated both at the Annex and at the sanctuary in preparation for the weekend services. After church, hubby needed to go to Eastlake and pick up something and on the way there, we receive a phone call from my brother in law. He was saying that they had to call the ambulance, because they found auntie Remy down in her room. My heart skipped a beat. 

"What do you mean found down?" asked hubby. 
"AJ found her down and now she's in the living room and they are working on her," his brother said. 
We turned the car around, "We're on the way... just stay on the phone with me."

So they exchange information over the phone, from 'working on her' to dad is crying, dad is calling the Philippines. We were literally just minutes away from home and when we turned the corner, BIL says, "She's gone." I felt a punch in my heart and an apple in my throat, my lips turned upside down and my brows curled up as my eyes swelled with tears. "Oh?" I whispered. Then, at that very moment, Auntie Jean, calls to ask what's going on with Tita Remy. "She's gone," I said with my lips quivering and my throat shaking. I didn't want to cry.

"WHAT?!" She yelled in disbelief, "Michelle, what are you saying?"
"She's gone," I handed the phone over to hubby. And there he repeated the news. It was a shock for all of us. This will be another story to tell, so for now, all I will say is that we had to prepare for the funeral. 

So, the funeral was being prepared during a time we needed to fix things with our youth leadership. Instead, what hubby did have was a youth core meeting. In this meeting, they discussed about future plans and asked questions about any questions or concerns that arose while away. No one really spoke up. A few mentioned and shared their thoughts on the youth going to other Young Adult services/ bible study groups (which FYI, hubby and I supported that our kids could go to another young adult since the one that is being established at church did not have a strong foundation yet. Our kids were to assess and observe other churches to get feedback and ideas on how to build a strong one at the church.) It appears that some felt like we are 'losing' the young adults to the other churches, even disclosing and questioning 'losing' our children. If only they knew that our kids had a purpose and that the visits were intentional. Perhaps they actually do like the Young Adults service at the other church. And that's okay, because my kids are being fed and they have found a support system that hubby and I can support and perhaps inquire more about. God has a plan for everything, and hubby and I have the vision and wisdom to believe in this plan. It may not look right in some people's eyes, but who are we to question God? Who are they to question God? 

So, here is the youth core team discussing future plans and goals for the youth ministry. There were plans for a youth retreat, a worship night service, an appreciation parent dinner, summer camps/activities, so cal convention, etc. 

After that night, hubby tried to open the conversation with the adult youth leader about the events that happened within the past few weeks while we were away. Well, the discussion did not happen the way he had hoped for. Instead, the door was closed and the question came up, "Where were you 10-13 years ago when we were here? You guys never reach out to us for the youth and it's no wonder the youth is falling apart, and the young adults are going to another church." MIND BLOWN when I heard hubby tell me this. Now this is what he said, I was not there, so I could not believe the audacity to hear such things. I did have to ponder a bit of how this couple was missed though, especially with the fact they had children of their own. So, where were we?

Now weeks have passed by, because not only was hubby taking care of most of the funeral arrangements for our Tita Remy, but our other Auntie was staying with us after having an emergency appendectomy - no lifting, no running, no bending, no cleaning... just rest. With these two things happening, I followed after with my own womanly surgery (I will not disclose at this time until a later time, because that's another story to tell LOL!). Anyways, yeps! A funeral, and two surgeries later, hubby finally was able to make arrangements to sit with the couple. I was supposed to go, but because I had surgery and still under the influence of pain meds and fatigue, I was not able to attend. Instead, I stayed home and prayed for the people, the home, and the discussion that was about to unfold. A few days earlier, our daughter had come home upset, because she, too, has been wanting to get the situation resolved, but because of all the events that had happened, the delay was making everyone anxious, isolated, and emotionally tired. 

No mother ever wants to see their child hurt and heart broken. I understand that. I know what it feels like to see our children cry and ask for help. I understand how helpless a mother can be when all we can do is pray and hug and listen patiently hoping that they can survive life another day and another day, and another day after. Being a parent is no joke. There are hills and valleys and slopes that are tricky and if we are not careful, we ourselves can fall into a pit of despair and desperation that makes waking up hard to do. I know, because I've been there. The hopelessness of not knowing what to do next, the doubts that creeps into our minds questioning whether we are doing the 'right' thing and whether we have done enough or "are we enough?" The energy it takes to both be a mother and a wife, and now a friend to others. 

The word says, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ" - Galatians 6:2, NIV. That is a lot to carry. And since I was not there, guess who had to help stand for themselves while they were being attacked?

Our daughter. While I was at home praying over them: praying for wisdom, patience, and understanding.

Hubby was there, but our daughter stood her ground well and she was forward enough to let them all know that she is apologetic for coming across disrespectful, which was not her intention. She also made it clear that she was not looking to be friends with someone she did not want to build a relationship with, it was purely professional - ministry is ministry and what they do in ministry is within the ministry and commitments to church duties. Anything outside the church is their choice and her choice was not to extend that access other than within the grounds and confinements of the ministry. 

Fair? Fair. Both parties agreed that there are no plans to build an intimate relationship between the individuals and the family. At least not at that time. So what was this all about? Hmmm... that's going to be another story to tell. I know, I know... Michelle, you are holding so much to the side. Well, then what else am I going to write about on my next entry? Give me a chance to put my thoughts together first and then I will share you the details. Thanks... 

During this meeting, the question popped up again said hubby, "Where were you guys 10-13 years ago? How come we never met?"

The answer was revealed to me about a week ago and I wanted to share this information with you. Ten to almost 13 years ago, my family were in a storm - we were in a position of healing physically. If you look at when this blog was started, it was just a year or two after I had my heart attacks and heart surgery. In that decade of a lifetime, my hubby was taking care of me and his children all while working and running the youth ministry. We also had started focusing on other avenues to bring in income that would both be a lifelong lesson and an opportunity to build a legacy for our family. In those to 10-13 years, I was trying to not have another heart attack, so I was forcing myself not to stress, to stay relaxed, to not worry and to choose my battles. God was fighting for me and I was trying to be obedient to the promises God had in store for my family and my future. 

I needed to make it past 8 years post-surgery. In those first 8 years, I made sure our finance was safe, all the kids were covered with insurance, and hubby and I were building a team to grow our legacy. Hubby wanted to make sure I saw the world, because we weren't sure how long my heart would last. So he made sure that the business was successful enough to bring in some money to pay for the company trips, so that we could travel to: Thailand, Japan, Jerusalem, Philippines, Texas, New York, Ensenada, Puerto Vallarta, and so much more.  It was such an adventure. In these trips, we visited places that we would have or want to do missions trips to, so we made sure to take pictures and information for sites we would want to revisit when that opportunity arrived. 

Hubby wanted to make sure that I lived a life that I could remember while I was still healthy. Our parents were still healthy and they were able to watch the kids, so my little ones were being raised by a village of family who loved them dearly. Hubby and I were, we still are, very blessed. Then came COVID.

COVID was a crazy time for all of us. Not only were we celebrating for living pass the 5-8 years mark post-cardiac surgery we had to put our finance business on hold, our travelling plans on hold, and focused now on trying to keep our family safe and myself from COVID. Especially since we both worked in the medical field as a respiratory care practitioner. Can you believe this? It was just one thing after another towards the end of that time. We were required to work with COVID patients with little to no protective mask and tools that would have minimized the exposure to both patients and healthcare workers. I was telling someone that COVID brought out the "Walking Dead" smarts out of us: only going out when we needed to, keeping everyone at a distance, disinfecting everything and anything when going in and out of the house, taking medicine and quarantining ourselves if we showed any signs. 

We didn't get COVID the entire time we were isolating from the world and following guidelines. We got COVID for the first time the week my baby girl went back to school and attended a winter dance the following Friday after. She wasn't feeling well and then me, then daddy, and the rest followed after. The first to get better was baby girl and she started playing 'delivery' and preparing us meals. She learned how to cook eggs, ramen, toast, peanut butter and jelly, coffee, and even tea. She kept the living room and the kitchen clean. Everyone was able to communicate with each other using cell phones. 

After two years of living a COVID lifestyle and feeling comfortable with having the kids going back to school and socializing again, our family wanted to go back to church. I was so excited. I didn't care what kind of church it was, I just wanted to go. We had a family discussion, and we decided to visit different churches, so that's what we did. For about a year, we went to The Rock, People's Church, New Hope, Faith Chapel, Bonita Valley, Eastlake Church. We liked all of them, but there was always something missing - the Holy Spirit. It's like, just when it was about to come falling down, it disappeared, because most of the churches were following a 'program.' The kids didn't want to go to our original church because they wanted to try something "NEW," which was fair, because they are growing children and it was their turn to decide on how they want to get closer to Christ. Hubby and I did our part to grown our faith and now we are here to guide our kids find their way in their relationship with Jesus. 

The kids were baptized and grew up at our current church and felt at the time that they no longer had friends going to the church and it would be so different. Then, we received the news that the granddaughter of the senior pastor had passed away. It was a sad time. She was only in her 20s. So, we go to her service, and we saw people who we have not seen for a long time since COVID. With tears of loss and also with tears of joy and peace, it was during this time that hubby heard the calling to come back 'home..." and here we are, back 'home' to a church who's always been a part of our faith and the kids wanted to be a part of it. So, where were we 10-13 years ago? God was preparing our hearts and our lives for this moment to serve Him. It was God's timing, always have and always will. 

I've learned that there are seasons, moments, and lifetimes when someone will come into our lives. Especially in mine - most are just moments. So how come we didn't meet?

Ecclesiastes 3:1  “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” This  verse reminds us that life unfolds in divinely appointed seasons, teaching patience and trust in God’s rhythm. ​